Seventy years after the Special Marriage Act (SMA) came into existence, Bengaluru’s marriage officials are demanding that couples who want to marry under SMA bring their parents as witnesses. “Compulsory,” some of the officials declared, despite the fact that the law makes no such insistence. “Do your parents know?” they ask of adults, who legally have every right to make decisions about their own life without any ‘parental guidance’.
TNM found this during an investigation where we visited nine of the city’s 40 sub-registrar offices, posing as a person who wished to register an inter-faith marriage under the Act. Even across these offices, the “rules” were not consistent, and what's practiced boils down to the preferences of the sub-registrar who heads that branch.
And one of the main reasons why officials are demanding parental consent, according to a senior bureaucrat we spoke to, is the fear of having to deal with complaints under the Karnataka Protection of Right to Freedom of Religion Act — popularly known as the anti conversion law — which was brought in by the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) led government in the state in 2022. While the Congress has been in power in the state for over a year now, and the party had promised to repeal this problematic law when they came to power, the legislation still exists.
The tip-off for this investigation came from Rahul and Sandra (names changed) — an interfaith couple who have been together for one and a half year. Rahul is a Hindu and Sandra is a Christian, and they're ready to take the next step in their relationship — get married.
However, their parents — particularly Sandra's — are not happy with this decision. “My parents haven't accepted our relationship,” Sandra said.
In September, the couple visited the Indira Nagar sub-registrar’s office to find out what documents they require for their wedding. They'd already done their research on SMA, and knew that they needed to bring three witnesses for the registration — and that these witnesses could be anyone they knew.
“So we were really shocked when the official there said we’d have to necessarily bring my parents as witnesses if we wanted to get married,” Sandra said.
Feeling uneasy, the couple decided to consult the lawyer whose office was located next door to the Indira Nagar sub-registrar's office. “We thought maybe he could clarify things and give us a way around this. But instead, he confirmed what we had been told — that my parents were “compulsory” witnesses for the marriage registration,” Sandra said.
Under the Special Marriage Act, couples need just three adult witnesses, who could be anyone – family members, friends, or even acquaintances. The Special Marriage Act was designed to counteract social hostility and provide couples with a legal framework for a "secular" marriage, allowing them to marry without the need to convert to each other's religion.
The law is meant to be inclusive, allowing any three adult witnesses to sign the marriage registration. So why were random, low-level government officials creating additional hurdles?
To understand whether this issue was specific to Indiranagar or part of a larger trend, TNM visited nine of the city’s 40 sub-registrar offices to investigate whether rules were being inconsistently enforced or whether officials across the city were imposing their own biases and making up regulations without proper authority.
When TNM visited the Shantinagar sub-registrar's office to inquire about the documents needed under SMA, this reporter was directed to an official at the registration counter. After checking if I was already married (“No”), the official asked for my Aadhaar card. I said I hadn’t brought it along, so she suggested I apply via the Kaveri online portal.
But the questioning by the official did not end there. She asked where the groom was from (“Kerala”) and my hometown (“Udupi”). Next, she asked about our religions. I said that the groom was a Muslim, and I was a Hindu. After a brief pause, she asked for our ages — 25 and 28, I said.
“All three witnesses for the marriage must be your parents,” the official declared. When I asked why, and pointed out that the law does not mandate this, she said, "We prefer parents because you aren’t married yet. If you were already married, it wouldn’t matter."
"Without the parents, we cannot proceed," she said, leaving no room for negotiation.
It is the “preference” of these government officials that decide whether an interfaith couple can get married with ease or jump through hoops in Bengaluru, we realised as we visited more offices.
At the KR Puram office, I posed as a Christian woman looking to marry a Hindu man. The officials insisted that parents come as witnesses, and told me that the Aadhaar card of the bride and groom was necessary to register the marriage.
At the Jayanagar and Basavanagudi offices, I posed as a Hindu woman looking to marry a Christian man. Officials said that witnesses were “preferably” the parents of the couple. They insisted that Aadhaar was necessary to register the wedding. The stipulations were the same at the JP Nagar office as well.
At the Banashankari office, they said they have a clear preference for parents as witnesses, but when prodded further, they said it wasn't an “absolute requirement”. They did not ask about the religions of the couple. They insisted on Aadhaar.
At the BTM Layout and Kengeri offices, while the officers insisted on Aadhaar cards for the bride and groom, they said the witnesses could be anyone, and confirmed that there was no parental involvement needed for the marriage to be registered.
At the Shivajinagar office, we found a completely different approach. Officials here didn’t seem too concerned with the specifics of the witnesses. Any government-issued ID was accepted as address proof, and the witnesses could be anyone, not just the parents.
Inspector General of Registration and Commissioner of Stamps, Dayananda KA, confirmed to TNM that there was no legal requirement for parents as witnesses under SMA, and that sub-registrars have no authority to create their own rules.
"The Stamps and Registration Department handles the registration process. I'm not aware that such practices are happening. I will issue written directions to all sub-registrars,” he promised.
When asked if this could have anything to do with the anti-conversion law in the state — under which 30 FIRs have been filed, at least two of which are seemingly related to interfaith marriages — the officer said that this was a possibility. “There have been cases where parents have caused trouble after marriages are registered, which might have led sub-registrars to impose this requirement. However, they do not have the authority to do so. Their role is simply to verify documents and register marriages as per the law," he said.
Under SMA, the bride and groom have to provide an address proof to show that at least one of them lives in the jurisdiction of the sub-registrar who's documenting their marriage. Legally, this can be any government-issued document that shows the address of the person, most sub-registrar offices in Bengaluru that we visited demanded Aadhaar IDs as proof of address.
The reason cited is that the ‘Kaveri’ portal — Karnataka government’s online registration portal — accepts only Aadhaar as proof of address.
If a person wants to register offline, they can however use any address proof. But the first thing that most officials said was “Aadhaar” and not “address proof”. It was only when we asked if any other ID can be used that they explained the whole situation.
Under the Special Marriage Act, 1954 in India, the marriage must be registered in the presence of three witnesses.
There is no restriction on who can be a witness. The witnesses do not have to be related to the couple, so they can be friends, family members, or any known acquaintances.
There are of course problems with the SMA — particularly, unlike the personal laws, SMA requires that a notice of the proposed marriage be published in the office for 30 days, so that if anyone has an objection to it can come and complain.
Such a notice creates issues for couples whose families are against their match. The notice has also been used by fundamentalists to harass couples.
In India, where over 93% of people marry within their caste or community, most of these marriages are “arranged” by families. This cultural norm creates immense social pressure, and for those choosing to marry outside caste or religious boundaries, the opposition can be so severe that it has led to extreme cases of violence, including "caste/honour killings," where parents have been known to murder their own children and their partners.
As journalist Rukmini S writes in Whole Numbers and Half Truths, "As of January 2018, 93% of married Indians said that theirs was an arranged marriage. Just 3% had a ‘love marriage’ and another 2% described theirs as a ‘love-cum-arranged marriage,’ which usually indicates that the relationship was set up by the families, and then the couple fell in love and agreed to get married. There has been only very slight change over time — 94% of octogenarians had an arranged marriage, and the figure remains over 90% for young couples in their twenties."
A Pew survey in 2021 revealed that 67% of Hindus believe it is essential to prevent women from marrying outside their religion, with 65% holding the same view for Hindu men. Among Muslims, the sentiment is even stronger, with 80% opposing interfaith marriages for women and 76% for men.
Madhu Bhushan, activist-writer and women's rights campaigner with Gamana Mahila Samuha, emphasises that the Special Marriage Act was specifically designed for individuals who wish to marry outside the constraints of religious or social norms. “The Special Marriage Act is for people who choose to get married in a particular way — without religious ceremonies or societal approval," she says. "If they are adults, the state has no right to intervene in their personal choices."
According to her, this requirement for parental witness undermines the very purpose of the law, which was intended to offer autonomy to couples, particularly women. "Women in our society don't have an independent, autonomous existence. Their identity is always tied either to their parents or their husbands. When officials insist on parents being witnesses, it’s a way to reinforce control over women," she says. Madhu points out that even though the law recognises women’s agency and the right to make decisions, in practice, patriarchal norms still dominate. "Officials, families, and communities still believe women cannot make decisions on their own, so they impose parental authority, policing women’s behavior."
“Women are treated as property of the state, the family, or religious institutions. Even when laws like the Special Marriage Act are in place to protect personal choice, officials subvert them by imposing social morality over constitutional rights.”