Can kinship of milk be stronger than or equal to blood ties? In some cultures, wetnursing was a practice that broke down barriers and fostered deeper kinship between community members irrespective of social status and hierarchies. That similar kinships, forged through breastfeeding, between Muslims and Hindus in Malabar have survived over the years might seem unbelievable, because the world around has turned divisive, but it’s one of those Kerala stories that need to be told.
The story of how Chirutha, a Hindu woman from the Thiyya community, came to be regarded as the sibling of the late K Moidu Moulavi, a Jamaat-e-Islami leader and respected Islamic scholar, because he grew up on the milk of her mother Unicheera, provides insights into how social cohesions and inter-religious harmony were sanctified by the act of suckling.
While anthropologists have explored Islamic cultures where women who suckle children not biologically born to them are extended the exalted status of being milk mothers, the existence of such connections between Hindu Thiyyas and Muslims was not publicly known in Kerala until it was revealed by Moidu Moulavi himself more than two decades ago. The revelation happened during a peace meet organised in 2001 at Nadapuram in Kozhikode, which has a history of violent political conflicts between the Communist Party of India (Marxist), which has a strong Thiyya support base in the area, and Muslim organisations, including the Indian Union Muslim League (IUML) and the National Development Front (NDF).
Nadapuram had witnessed political violence between supporters of the CPI(M) and the IUML in 2001 resulting in loss of five lives. The provocation was the murder of Eenthullathil Binu, a CPI(M) worker, against whom there were allegations of rape. There was widespread arson and looting of private properties. Initially, Binu’s murder was thought to be the handiwork of the IUML but later it emerged that he was killed by the NDF, which was initially known as Nadapuram Defence Force, an organisation formed to “resist CPI(M) aggression.”
While speaking at the peace meet, highlighting the need to maintain communal harmony and elucidating the deep bonds between Thiyya community and Muslims, Moidu Moulavi spoke about growing up on the breast milk of Unicheera, belonging to Thiyya caste, and how Chirutha, her daughter, came to be regarded as his sister, said TK Hussain, who attended the meeting in the capacity of secretary, Forum for Democracy and Communal Amenity (FDCA), Kerala chapter. VR Krishna Iyer, an eminent jurist who had served as a minister in Kerala’s first cabinet, too was present when Moidu Moulavi shared the life story before the astonished audience. Iyer was full of wonder and said: “Is this real? If so, I will spread this tale all across the country,” said Hussain.
The enigmatic story of fosterage unfolded at the Koroth house of the Pathayakodan, a family of Muslim landlords in Chiyyur village, where Unicheera and her husband Chathoth Kadan worked as agricultural labourers in the early 1930s. Unicheera would often bring her infant daughter, Manthi, to work, and during breaks, she would breastfeed her. Moidu, the youngest child of Koroth Kuttyali and Aysha Thengalakkandi, was of the same age as Manthi and would partake in breastfeeding. Unicheera generously shared her breast milk with Moidu, unofficially making him a part of her own family.
Late Moidu Moulavi's family with Kannan (Unicheera's grandson, second from left))
The bond between Unicheera and Moidu continued to grow over the years. He remained an integral part of her life even after Unicheera gave birth to more children. The larger public knew about this only after Moidu publicly acknowledged Chirutha as his beloved sister. The story was documented in Sunday Magazine of Madhyamam daily on September 4, 2016.
A tradition of wetnursing that existed in the northern part of Kerala during those times resulted in women from different religious backgrounds breastfeeding each other’s babies, showcasing the camaraderie and unity among them.
Kannan, Unicheera’s grandson, said Moulavi’s mother had breastfed his mother Manthi. Kannan himself was similarly nourished by a woman from a Muslim Thangal family (considered to be descendants of Prophet Muhammad) highlighting the cross-community bonds formed through this practice.
“The family shifted to a new place. A few years ago, I attended the funeral of the mother who fed me breast milk. I am still searching for the whereabouts of my milk sisters,” Kannan said.
Basheer Muhiyuddin, Moidu Moulavi’s son and Imam of Kuttiady Peace Square Masjid, was witness to the bonding his father and Chirutha shared since his childhood. “Chirutha always enjoyed some sort of power inside our house. For her it was a ritual to visit our home every day,” Basheer said, sitting next to Kannan. She visited their home daily, helping with various household chores.
“If we asked her not to clean the house, she would get offended and respond that she wanted to keep her house clean,” said Basheer.
To demonstrate the deep ties between his father and Chirutha, Basheer shared a story. “Chirutha had a traditional earring about which she was quite possessive. Once she lost the earring at Moulavi’s place and made a huge scene. She shouted at almost everybody in the house and became sad and worried,” said Basheer. To comfort his sister, Moulavi gifted her a new pair of earrings. Chirutha’s happiness knew no bounds. Later, when she found her earring, she went to Moulavi to return the one he gifted her. “Keep it as a gift was what he told her,” said Kannan.
The relationship between Moidu Moulavi and Chirutha was not merely that of siblings. She became an integral part of Moulavi’s children’s lives. Chirutha’s storytelling skills captivated them, and she shared tales from both Hindu puranas and Muslim traditional fables, creating a bridge between the two religions.
Moulavi’s elder daughter Subaida recalled that Chirutha was an ardent reader. She had a rich treasure of both Hindu and Muslim traditional fables. “She had completed Class 7 and continued reading even in her old age,” Subaida said. Chirutha passed away in 2018.
Kannan used to celebrate Eid with Moulavi’s family, sharing biryani and buying new clothes. Onam and Vishu were also celebrated in a similar way. While Muslim clerics were busy researching fatwas to be issued against celebrating Onam, Moulavi gifted new clothes to Chirutha for the festival. “They used to bring us special snacks like ariyunda and payasam every year. During our childhood, all of us kids sat together for Onam sadhya at Chirutha’s home,” said Subaida.
Basheer said milk kinship has a special place in Islam. “Prophet Muhammad himself had a foster mother, Haleema, who shared a breastfeeding relationship with him. The sacredness of this bond is comparable to blood relations,” he said. The families involved are considered ‘Mahram’ (marital relations are forbidden) and the children enjoy the status of siblings.
PK Yasser Arafath, a historian and Professor of History at Delhi University who hails from Nadapuram and has researched breastmilk kinships and inter-religious siblings in the region, said that the culture is reflective of a unique economic and material reliance between different communities in Malabar.
“In contrast to north India, Malabar demography was not cluster-based, and there were various channels of day-to-day interactions between households and communities. They considered it extremely acceptable to be breastfed by any woman who passed by a wailing infant,” he explained.
Because of its reliance on maritime economy, Malabar was a hyper-interactive social area with relatively better female mobility and house-to-house interaction among Hindus and Muslims in the coastal regions, said Arafath, who has submitted a research paper titled ‘Transcending Breasts: Milk Kinship, Identities, and Community Living in Malabar.’
After Moidu Moulavi’s passing in 2005, both families vowed to honour his last wish and continue fostering the relationship. The communal harmony they exemplify stands as a testament to the power of love and acceptance across religious lines. Despite the challenges of time and distance, the families remain connected, even though the frequency of their meetings has gradually decreased.
Many in the family shared similar interpersonal bonds. Moulavi’s elder son Majeed, who died a few years ago, was Kannan’s best friend. Kannan, who lived in Narippatta, shifted to Chiyyur following his father’s death in the late 1960s. Soon, the boys became close and spent days playing together, and swimming and fishing in the vast Vanimel river. “During our teenage years, Majeed and I bought a cycle together for Rs 250. The vast field near our home became our cycling ground. He was a skilled cyclist. We used to do many cycle stunts,” Kannan said, laughing. The duo taught cycling to many youngsters in the locality, including their sisters.
Subaida and Kannan’s sister Kalyani studied in the same school. Both of them walked to school together and shared food. They were like sisters and shared almost everything. Later, Subaida married and moved to Ponnani in Malappuram district. Kalyani moved to Thottilpalam in Kozhikode district. “The frequency of our meetings came down gradually and was limited to family functions. Initially, we communicated through letters but that also came to a stop. Since Kalyani suffers from hearing loss, contact through mobile phones is also not possible,” Subaida said.
Kannan, reminiscing about his childhood, emphasised the role of Muslims in breaking down communal barriers, warmly welcoming Hindus into their homes and offering support when needed. He denounced the attempts by the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) and Sangh Parivar to revive divisive ideologies, affirming his commitment to the ideals of socialism and unity.
“I will not fall for it. My blood is red. I am a red-flag-bearing comrade. Will continue my Inquilaab until my last breath,” he said. The bonds shared by men and women of both the communities who share milk kinship in Nadapuram stand testament to the power of love, acceptance, and shared humanity that transcends religious differences and politics of hatred.