In 2017, speaking to TNM, Binesh Balan said he rose above the clouds like an eagle overcoming his obstacles. For Binesh, a tribal student from Mavila community in Kolichal of Kasaragod district, who had to wait three years to get to his dream, it was the perfect analogy to explain his journey to University of Sussex to get a Masters degree in Anthropology. Binesh, was in headlines in 2017 as his applications for scholarships were caught in government red tapes.
Binesh, who is currently pursuing his doctoral research at the University of Groningen in Netherlands, from his home in Kolichal, says his real struggle began after he completed his Masters in Sussex. As an MBA student of Kerala University in 2014, Binesh dreamed of studying abroad. But as a student from a tribal community whose parents were daily wagers struggling to meet even their daily expenses, it felt like a forbidden dream. But he did not waver.
Binesh has now set up a small room close to his house in the tribal hamlet of Kolichal for his doctoral research. After several setbacks and failures, he has regained his confidence and enthusiasm. The journey was troublesome, says Bineesh, as he had to face discrimination, rejection and struggle to survive.
In 2015, Binesh secured admission to University of Sussex for his Masters. He was also sanctioned Rs 27 lakhs from the state government as scholarship. But he never got the money. As he waited for the money, which was not released, his admissions lapsed. Next year again he gained admission at the London School of Economics, but he had to go through a similar agony as the money was not released from the government citing technical reasons. Finally he secured a National Overseas Scholarship, and joined the University of Sussex in 2017. “Officials asked me what I would do after studying abroad. Even during my college days I have faced this attitude, of people who think I got into a particular position only because of reservation. That is why I always wanted to study somewhere that doesn’t have any reservation,” Binesh said.
Binesh with his parents
“My caste, my colour and family were an issue for the officials in the secretariat. Even after my repeated requests they provided the scholarship order in Malayalam, which was declined by embassy officials in UK. Apart from that there were several technical problems I had to face,” he recalled. Finally, with a scholarship from the Union government and aid from the Kerala government ,which provided Rs 1.5 lakh, Binesh joined Sussex University on July 31, 2017.
After his Masters, Binesh easily secured an admission for his research in Trinity College Dublin. “I wanted to use the National Overseas Scholarship for my research studies, that is why first I approached the state government. Since that did not work out, and I already used NOS, I approached the state government for a scholarship. They had a scheme for SC and ST students. Again they approved the funds, but issued orders in Malayalam even after repeated requests. I did not get into Trinity again due to technical reasons,” Binesh said.
“Later in 2019, again the scholarship was approved and an amount of Rs 29 lakh was transferred. I joined the Free University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands for research. Since I studied on a scholarship, I was not allowed to go for other work. The money was only sufficient to bear one year's expenses. From next year I did not know how to continue studies,” Binesh says.
Meanwhile an official from Kerala government sent a notice seeking explanation to Binesh saying he misused the scholarship. “The scholarship was issued for Trinity and due to technical delay from the state government I did not get through there, that is why I joined Amsterdam later. But I got a notice saying I misused the funds,” Binesh says.
Later his university and immigration department gave a clarification over this to the government.
“I was not able to stay in Amsterdam so I took a bus to Germany, which allowed me to sleep in the bus for eight hours, freshen up with friends there and return to Amsterdam. That was cheaper than hiring a dormitory. A few weeks I continued this, then found a cheaper stay and struggled to stick on. I had to drop studies for a year and work in an ice cream factory, hoping to make some money and continue my education. That is when COVID-19 stuck and I had to return home,” Binesh said.
By 2021 he returned to Kasaragod. “The next two years were so depressing that I started developing anxiety issues. I dropped out of my studies after spending a lot of money. I did not do what to do next, though I was determined to complete my research,” Binesh said.
Binesh secured an admission in the University of Groningen in February 2023 and decided to take an educational loan. His guide Dr Elena Mucciarelli, who specialised in Hinduism in the Sanskrit tradition had a visit to Kerala on March second week. “I am researching on Theyyam and Thottam. After my research guide visited Kerala she understood my situation and allowed me to do field work at first, so that I can stay here until my loan is sanctioned,” Binesh said.
He will be going to the Netherlands soon to finish off some paperwork in the university and return. “Since I am no longer dependent on the scholarship, I can work there along with my research and I am confident to repay my loans.”