Prawin Ganeshan has been on Tinder Gold for two years. But when the lockdown happened, he saw a surge of new profiles. And while that could have meant that he had more options to date via the app, it didn’t exactly translate that way.
“A lot of them are quite upfront that they are on the app only because they are self-quarantining at home. I matched a few people, but it’s been harder to take things forward beyond the app. You can tell they aren’t serious, and are just passing time,” the Chennai-based entrepreneur tells TNM. The 32-year-old is the CEO of Kamakart, an adult wellness store.
“There are more people, but the quality of interactions has reduced – unless I take time to really sit and refine through the matches and profiles,” he adds.
Like Prawin, many are seeing more new profiles and matches on dating apps. Four dating apps TNM spoke to reported seeing an increase in traffic and usage since the lockdown began. But does it translate to more connections?
“It becomes really hard for me to see who are genuinely seeking a connection and who are here because they have time to kill,” says Prasanna Venkatesh, a Bengaluru-based product design professional.
Bengaluru marketing professional Anita was also quite amused when something similar happened. “Some of the guys I have dated before, who haven’t spoken to me for a year, have been hitting me up now. No doubt, because of the lockdown,” she laughs.
What the dating apps’ data reveals
Tinder witnessed over three billion swipes worldwide on March 29 as countries around the world issued shelter-in-place orders. “This is more than on any single day in the history of Tinder,” a spokesperson told TNM.
OkCupid has seen a worldwide increase in matches of 10% since March, and conversations have increased by over 20%, while Hinge worldwide also saw a 30% increase in messaging on the app in March 2020, and 70% users expressed interest in going on digital dates.
Bumble had a 11% increase in Gen Z registrations in India during the first week of lockdown (till March 27) compared to the week prior. There was also a 29% increase in messages sent, and 17% increase in video calls during the week ending on March 27.
“This only underscores the natural behavior of this age group to migrate to digital platforms for connection and entertainment,” a Bumble spokesperson said.
The dating platforms have also made changes taking the current situation into account. Tinder made its Passport feature – earlier only accessible to Gold or Plus members – for everyone during the lockdown. It allows one to search for matches by location. “India saw a 25% increase in the rate of Passporting to other parts of the world,” the spokesperson said.
Further, Bumble is seeing more people using the in-app video and voice calling features which were introduced last year. The average video/voice call time during the March 27 week was 14 minutes on the app, a spokesperson said.
Frustrations, no sex and other real-time challenges
While platforms themselves are adapting and encouraging people to date virtually, the real life experience can be quite different.
For instance, Prasanna does not use the voice calling feature as he is hearing impaired. Depending on the woman’s comfort, he would either chat with them on text for up to four weeks before meeting, or meet them within days of matching. Now, however, if the woman does not prefer texting, Prasanna says he has lost the advantage meeting her to see if they click. “I'm not even comfortable with the video call option. I need to make a good first impression face to face, and video is definitely not going to do it,” he tells TNM.
For those who just started dating, it’s been difficult to maintain the relationship. “We had only been on one date right before the lockdown. Now, we talk, and try doing activities together like movie and book recommendations, and sharing selfies. But a lot of [dating] is also based on physical attraction. What does it feel like to sit next to them, touch them, hug them… It’s going to be strange later the chemistry is not there, because it’s been fantastic connecting emotionally,” Bengaluru-based Smriti* says.
“I know many people who are frustrated with the dating experience right now,” Smriti adds. “Probably because they are not getting sex.”
And though Anita had assumed that the lockdown would compel potential partners to have better conversations instead of looking for instant gratification, that's not been the case for her. “There was even someone who suggested that we meet at home – we were one week into the lockdown at this point,” she says.
Sumith*, a Chennai-based consultant meanwhile says that the lockdown could give people time to get to know people well, more meaningfully. However, he admits that with the pandemic on everyone’s mind, it’s been a little challenging to veer into more meaningful conversation, not related to COVID-19.
Silver linings
OkCupid found that 32% Indians felt less pressure in dating virtually, while 38% Indian millennials said they were able to get to know their matches better through virtual dating.
“While many of these matches may not materialise beyond the lockdown period, it’s a novelty for me also right now to talk to new people,” Prawin says.
For Mumbai-based Karishma, dating has been a bit of a struggle due to her health issues. The lupus patient has been sick for 17 years, and has 22 chronic conditions. The 29-year-old has seen a lot of matches either get overwhelmed by her health conditions, or lose interest when she can’t meet them as she has been bedridden since May 2019 after she had a relapse.
“Now, because of the lockdown, men can’t ask to meet. So, it gives me more time to talk to them, ask my questions, and see if we are on the same page," Karishma tells TNM.
"I’ve had more meaningful conversations during this time, more genuine concern, and questions about me and my health. They ask me about what precautions they should take when we do meet. So it’s actually been an advantage for me,” she adds.
*Names changed