The ethnic conflict between Meteis and Kukis has made international headlines and yet, nothing prepares you for the level of polarisation on the ground in Manipur. It seems that the wave of hatred has consumed the entire population and irrevocably divided the state between the hills and the valley. But all might not be lost, because there are still those who dared break the cycle of hate and fall in love.
Ever since the conflict started, reports started pouring in about Kuki-Metei couples who had bridged the ethnic divide in search of love. There were reports of Kukis married to Meteis stuck in Imphal, and Meteis married to Kukis stuck in the hills. What happened to these couples? Were they butchered for breaching their bloodlines? Did they survive?
The quest led us to a surprising discovery. Despite the violence, sections from both the warring sides have gone out of their way to keep a few of these couples safe. We met such inter-community couples at different places in Manipur. There are vigilante groups across the state, to make sure that this crossing doesn't happen. But the love stories that TNM heard seemed to have breached all boundaries. They stared death in the face to be with their partners.
Irene and Prem* (names changed) met at their village where Meiteis and Kukis once coexisted in harmony. Prem was three years younger than her, and it was not easy for him to convince her that it is okay to have a relationship with a younger man. Though Irene was interested in Prem, she thought he was too young to get married. But love bloomed, the couple got married and they had twin girls. Everything was fine, and they were living happily until the violence broke out. Only then did they have to think about the fact that Irene belonged to the Kuki community and Prem is a Meitei.
“My parents, siblings and all other relatives told me to leave the valley and stay in the hills. But you see these twins, they need their father, I need my husband,” she said, looking at the babies who were sleeping in one of the cabins where she lived. “So I left everyone for my family. I am scared, living in fear each moment. But as of now, I am protected by the Metei people around me here.”
Irene is one among a few Kuki women who are living among Meteis in the valley. At the place where Irene is sheltered, a very basic fare is cooked commonly for everybody. When we met Irene, she was busy cooking some special dishes for her children. She was scared of being identified as a Kuki woman by anyone outside. At first, she refused to talk about her identity and hid inside the plywood cabin. It took time before she could muster courage.
“I chose my husband and children over my parents and other family. But this is not easy for me. I miss them, my children miss their grandparents, and the worst part is I don't even know whether I will meet them again,” she said. Though the others around were protecting her, Irene shared her concerns over what would happen if she stepped out just once into the highly polarised society of Manipur. “I am not sure how long these people around can protect me. I am unsure and insecure,” she added.
The Meiteis were very careful about revealing that there were a few Kuki women among them. “They are more Meitei than us, we don't want anyone to expose them,” said a caretaker to TNM.
Leim* is a 55-year-old Kuki woman who has been married to a Meitei man for more than 30 years. “I don't want to know who is right and who is wrong here. I have my brothers, sisters and family on the other side. They asked me to stay with them in the hills, but my children and grandchildren are here. I don’t come out to the media, or anyone. Here, people around me know I am a Kuki woman, but others may not accept that. More than me, I don't want to bring trouble to my family,” she said, while rushing back to her cabin.
TNM met a few newly married Kuki women at camps in the valley. They all shared fear and insecurity about what life would be like after the relief camps shut down. They seem to have no hatred, but the hatred they see and hear towards their community is definitely hurting them. “The identity is always inside, but now the hatred around is so much, it hurts badly. Hope this ends soon,” Irene said.
It’s not just women who have been protected by the so-called enemy. We also met a Meitei man who was protected by a Kuki village in the hills because he was married to a Kuki woman. “I am not so fluent in the Kuki language. If I go out, others may identify me as a Meitei person. So, the Kuki activists here have told me not to step out of my house. They fear I may get attacked. I did not go back to my village, as I wanted to stay with my wife and children. If I abandon them now, who knows when this will get over, and I may lose them forever,” he said.
The villagers also do not spread the news of a Meitei man living in their village and offer him complete protection. “Nobody has come here to question me and nobody has misbehaved with me,” he said.
One of the volunteers in the village who takes care of the relief camps told TNM that they care about people who want to stick with them. “He could have easily abandoned his wife, prioritising his safety. But he risked his life for his family. So we will ensure all our support. We don't want anybody to lose their loved ones,” he said.
On the other side, in the relief camps of Churachandpur, we found a few Kuki women who were married to Meitei men but got separated in the violence. Mei* is just 24 years old and six months pregnant, with a three-year-old son. She and her husband met at their village in Bishnupur. “We got married four years back. He came to my village for agricultural work. We fell in love, got married, and had our first child a year after getting married. My son always asks for his father, he cries and is stubborn all the time. What can I tell him? I had to flee here when I was four months pregnant, I can't even think of childbirth without my husband’s presence. There are no nights that I don't cry myself to sleep. I am not in the mental state to console my son either. I don't know whom to blame here, we are the victims of hatred,” she said.
“People here speak badly about his community. At the same time, they speak badly about my community. I don't know anything about this politics. I am worried about my children and my husband,” she wept.
Among the two other Kuki women who got separated from their husbands in the violence whom TNM met, one had just had her delivery and her newborn baby was just five days old. Another woman was married for six years, and had two of her children with her, while her elder son was with his father in Imphal.
A volunteer who works at relief camps in Imphal, and took special care of inter-community couples, told TNM, “We are not sure how long we can protect them. The government should ensure some measures for their safety. We have seen many families ripped apart due to these issues, that shouldn’t happen again.”
Manipur Dispatches: Our reporters Prajwal Bhat, Haritha John and Bhuvan Malik are in Manipur to provide you with exclusive, in-depth ground reports that delve into the heart of the matter, highlighting the real issues underlying the current conflict. If you believe that human rights violations in a distant land should be a topic of conversation in this part of India, support our intrepid truth-seeking mission. Contribute here