Arun Faiz (25) and Aruna Devi (24) got married on February 14, 2023. To anyone wondering what is so special about this marriage, it is a self-respect marriage that took place in Tamil Nadu between a trans man and a woman. The self-respect marriage or ‘Inaiyerpu/Suyamariyathai thirumanam’, as it is called in Tamil, took place at Gobichettipalayam Periyar Self-Respect Marriage Bureau.
Speaking to TNM, Arun said that the couple fell in love six months ago and decided to get married. “But our families opposed it. So we contacted advocate BB Mohan, who reached out to Manidham Foundation to help us. The Foundation helped us get married,” he says and adds that the marriage was registered on February 16. Upon getting to know their decision, both families disowned them.
Arun, who hails from Virudhunagar, is an MBA graduate and Aruna, who hails from Kancheepuram, is a BCom graduate. Both of them have been struggling to find work. “We want to live like any other couple in this society and we wish for all the rights to be extended to everyone in the society. Getting a job is crucial for us as we are not dependent on our families anymore,” the couple says.
Both follow the ideals of Periyar and it paved their lives. Choosing a self-respect marriage was an easy decision. “Periyar’s speeches and writings, especially about women's freedom and the oppression they had to face before Periyar guided us to taking this decision,” explains Arun.
Suyamariyathai marriage is a wedding which does not consist of Brahmin priests, holy fire, saptapadi (seven steps) and mangalsutra. Tamil Nadu is the only state to legalise suyamariyathai marriages. In 1967, former Chief Minister CN Annadurai legalised self-respect marriages in Tamil Nadu and it became an Act in 1968.
The couple is also aware of the difficulties they have to face in society. “It is not something new for me. I have been fighting at each step right from the beginning of my realisation of my gender identity to expressing it to those around us. I have overcome it all and have reached this place. In this society that discriminates against trans people in general, it is going to be an uphill task going forward. But we are prepared for that. Advocates Mohan, Senniappan and Priya have been helping us,” Arun says. He is hopeful that the couple will get a job soon.
The couple is happy to have found love in each other and hopes to build a life together, fighting against all odds and paving way for others in society.