Six days ago, Ziya Paval wrote in poetic Malayalam, about the decision she made with her partner Zahad Fazil to become biological parents. They are a transgender couple based in Kozhikode, in their early 20s, who chose to become pregnant upon finding no other option to become parents. Photos of the couple, with a pregnant Zahan holding hands with Ziya, went viral on the internet in the last few days.
“We looked at adoption possibilities, but there were hardly any for transgender persons. We also checked the viability of pregnancy for trans women. That was also out of the question. That is why we decided to do this,” Ziya says, a day after another photo shoot the couple posed for.
She is in a hurry as we speak, as Zahad is expected to have an early delivery on Wednesday, February 8. “It might be earlier than we thought, and Zahad may have to have a C-section,” she says.
Ziya is a dancer and Zahad has a job at a supermarket. The decision to get pregnant has not been an easy one for Zahad, who was going through gender affirmation, and has had to stop his hormone therapy for a while. “Zahad Fazil, my partner, had begun to undergo bodily changes, as he desired, after going through the mental difficulties of living with the body he was born with. He was undergoing hormone therapy and breast removal surgery. But his dream to be a father, mine to be a mother, and our desire to have one of our own, made us take this decision [to get pregnant]. Now, with his full consent, an eight month old life is in his body. We want to thank our relatives who gave us all the support,” Ziya wrote in her Instagram post.
She spoke in detail about her desire to be a mother, something she has experienced through the years she has known her womanhood. “My body may never let me know that pain or pleasure in this lifetime. Time knows my desires as the god I know knows me. Is not a mother's hope in piling up dreams for someone they don't even know, in finding a name for that person, and waiting nine months for them? But now my dreams are coming true, I too am waiting for a small voice to call me Amma. Dear god, give my partner, who realised my dreams, and me, the strength to go forward tirelessly in any difficult situation,” she wrote.
Ever since she announced her decision, several photos have come out, showing the couple together in pregnancy photoshoots. In the most viral photos, Zahad is wrapped in a maroon cloth, and Ziya has her hands around him, dressed in a maroon sari like a bride. In another, Zahad is in a shirt and mundu – the traditional clothes of men in Kerala – while Ziya is in a white kurti with her hair loose. In a third set, Zahad is in a shirt and jeans, and Ziya stands behind him, with the ends of her anarkali kurti flying around them.
It is understood Zahad could resume hormone therapy once he has given birth and the doctors deem it advisable to do so. “The first person we consulted is Dr Riza, a gynaecologist at a private hospital. She is also the mother of one of my students at the dance class I conduct. She is the one who told us about the options we have and has been a huge support. There are also other doctors at the Kozhikode Medical College,” she says, but has to cut the conversation short owing to Zahad needing medical attention. There is excitement in her voice. It looks like she and Zahad will be parents sooner than they expected.
“We will feed you milk, endless love, and raise you as a humane person. Today you are growing in your father's womb. But you will be coming to and growing in your mother's hands. You will be safe in this mother's hands as long as I am there,” Ziya wrote in a second Instagram post, announcing the delivery date as February 8.