Kerala dentist who faced domestic abuse asks for public support

Surabhi Nambiar, a dentist by profession, was 26 years old when she returned from Dubai in 2017 to her hometown in Kannur, with her one year old son. Even as Kerala continues to discuss dowry, domestic violence and the deaths of young women like Vismaya, Archana and Suchitra; Surabhi wrote on her Facebook page that she shared the same story, but the only difference was that she survived the abuse. Her divorce case has been in the court for the last two years and she says even her own family has been against her decision to separate.

It was a week ago that Surabhi posted a few photos of her injuries a few years ago, after she was allegedly beaten up by her husband. Later, she also shared screenshots of messages from her brother, in which he was threatening her to remove the Facebook post on domestic violence, or he would help her husband win the case against her. He also accused her of bad behaviour.

Speaking to TNM, Surabhi said that from 2014 to 2017, she had been subjected to continous mental and physical torture by her husband and family. "We got married in 2014 and I went to Dubai with his family. It was a forced arranged marriage. I did not like the proposal as he was rude to me even before the wedding. But my brother and parents were adamant," she said.

Surabhi alleges that her husband has physically abused her many times, resulting in injuries.

"I reached out to my parents many times and asked them to help me, but they said it was my problem and I should learn to adjust. My mother compelled to have a baby which would solve issues. But it turned worse. Once he hit my chest while I was feeding my baby," she recalled. "I was working as a dentist in Kerala and my low income was their main issue, and continuously insulted my income. In Dubai I had to pass an exam to practice there, but they kept taunting me saying I was not earning anything. Due to this harassment, I worked as a receptionist for sometime so that I could earn some money," she said.

Frustrated and battered, she finally returned to Kannur in 2017 and decided to continue her studies. "Since 2017, my family has been harassing me as they could not accept my divorce. My brother was scared that I would be a burden for them. They took me for psychiatric treatments," she said.

She filed a domestic violence complaint with Payyannur police, following which her husband sent a divorce notice alleging she was schizophrenic.

"I cleared the entrance exam and joined the Kannur Dental College for my post graduation. I took a gold loan to pay my fees. My mother told me that rather than joining MDS, I can try to make another kid with him, which may solve issues," she said.

Surabhi is in her final year MDS, her son is at her house with parents. She lives in a hostel. Surabhi has been seeking support through her social media, telling people that they should speak up for victims when they are alive, instead of showing sympathy when someone dies.