Ten days after allegations of sexual harassment were posted against Malayalam anti-caste rapper Vedan, he wrote a long apology on Instagram. It was a Facebook page called Women Against Sexual Harassment that first published the experiences of women he had allegedly harassed. Vedan, who had initially reacted differently to the allegations and declared he would reveal the ‘truth’ soon, later deleted these previous reactions and wrote a long apology. However, two of the women survivors TNM spoke to said that Vedan has not reached out to any of the survivors personally.
In his apology post, Vedan wrote, "I feel great self-contempt and terrible regret as I look back on the lapses in my conduct towards you, my women friends, and partners who came to me in trust and friendship. I totally deserve to feel this pain.”
He admitted to have mishandled his earlier posts on the issue. "With all due sincerity and without an iota of pretence I offer my heartfelt apologies,” he wrote in his Instagram post.
There were two such posts before his long apology post, which have since been deleted. “The first such post was a sort of challenge. In the second post, he was more admissive of his mistakes but he never called any of us during all this time,” says one of the survivors TNM spoke to.
"I don't think his apology is genuine, it is simply to mislead others to think he did the right thing," says the other.
The post on Women Against Sexual Harassment said that several women shared their bitter experiences with Vedan, some of which were included in the post. It was alleged that he made unwelcome sexual advances, sexually harassed women and propagated lies about sexual relationships with them.
The two women TNM spoke to – aged 22 and 25 – said that they knew about the lies Vedan told others about them, when they spoke to each other. “He told me about her (the 25-year-old) in a very bad light, about the physical relationship they shared. It was only when I spoke to her that I realised it was all untrue,” says the 22-year-old.
The 25-year-old in turn had heard him speak ill of another young woman, and they realised the kind of stories he would be telling his friends about them.
“I noticed that he always targeted women who had strong opinions and took strong stands. Every time I told him about the importance of consent, he would admit it is his mistake that he didn’t pay heed to it. But then he would repeat it over and over again,” says one of the two women.
In his first post about the string of allegations, Vedan had said that he was trying to understand the “intentions of those who brought out such stories about him, who was opposing prejudiced discrimination artistically.” He also said that he never tried to hurt anyone intentionally and his post was not an apology or admission of guilt. He would be revealing the truth behind the stories soon, he said.
The second post said that he was deleting the first realising the language was not right, and that he should understand his privilege as a man when the women he hurt said his behaviour was anti-women.
One of the women TNM spoke to said that he had earlier said that such stories about him was an attempt to suppress his voice, the voice of a Dalit man, through all this. “But then I am a Dalit woman and one of the people he harassed,” she says.
The stories he mentions are the lies he told the women about other women. “There are other women who reached out with their stories. But they did not want to share about it on the Facebook post,” says the 22 year old.
Most of the women are in the 20s and are worried about taking legal action, since the investigations could bring trouble to their families. Some of the women got acquainted with him after his anti-caste songs came out.
Vedan’s first anti-caste song Voice of Voiceless had come out last June. It got really noticed and his second song against caste oppression, Vaa, released last month was also popular.
On Saturday, filmmaker Muhsin Parari posted only hours before Vedan that the work on his music video From a Native Daughter was being stalled since Vedan, alleged of sexual harassment, was a part of it. "In the wake of sexual harassment allegations against one of our performers Vedan, the Writing Company announces that any work pertaining to the above mentioned music video stands stalled, until the concerned parties have been served a just resolution to the matter," Muhsin wrote. Musicians and singers Chinmayi, Arivu, Haris Saleem and Govind Vasantha were also part of the project.